I hate my face, my hair, my features. Yet, they also fascinate me – these expressions, which belong to the person in the mirror; so much more mysterious than the faces I encounter everyday. For reflected in my eyes I see: a search for the answer to that eternal conundrum—what will you be when you grow up?
My very first selfie was a drawing, a portrait of myself as a teenager. I continued capturing myself on paper until these vague outlines petered out—to be replaced by a search for acceptance in the world’s appreciation of me. Perhaps this is what was called growing up? Then, technology brought it all back in reverse focus: to my self—and now that these pictures I take of my reflection have been officially recognised as an art form, it’s made it even more weirdly appealing.
It’s only fitting then, that I end the year of the selfie with the thoughts, which cross my mind when I click the shutter. Here they are:
- Why do I look so much better in my selfie than the pictures you take of me?
- Not this way – that. THAT is my best profile.
- Am I not more natural when I pose with myself?
- Can I snap these, the most intimate parts of me—which I would not reveal even to myself but I would to a mirror?
- For, I am so cool…. And, you can’t touch me.
- Did you see, what I just saw in my selfie?
- All the better to feed my Instagram with…
- Keep it running! Snap… snap… snap… Ah! This one works, perhaps?
- Does this lipstick colour go better with the black dress? What do you think? Ping me back on my selfie.
- … But I do look younger than my years, don’t I?
- Do I want you in my selfie? No, not you. Perhaps you, there? No, not really.
I am bored, so I selfie—looking for that which lies just below the surface: perhaps an epiphany? To thine own selfie be true then.
You bored too? Tell me why you #selfie?
Thanks to +sonia ducie Pooja Vir, Prateeksha Vir and +Ashanti OMkar for sharing their thoughts on selfies, which helped me with this piece. Laxmi Hariharan is a content branding strategist and author of epic fantasy. Follow her @laxmi