A loss equals:
An empty space.
A gap in the shape of a lost child.
A parent looking-down on you from another world.
A friend who isn’t one anymore.
The spouse too far away to reach.
A book whose last line has been written.
It sounds so final, as if it were the last nail in the coffin.
You no longer recognise yourself, the hollows under your eyes belong to someone else.
You notice the shape of your fingernails for the first time in days, the greying roots of your hair, the wrinkles, which are your new best friend.
And, there’s nothing inside.
You are spent, purged, done. Finished.
You don’t even realise you are in mourning, till you look at your face in the mirror and see the downward dog of your lips.
There is a space in your timeline, which can no longer be filled.
You see life stare you in the face, and you wish for death.
That’s the truth isn’t it?
But you know you have to go on.
One word, one step at a time, you built that world and now it wont let you go.
Life is like one big hangover. You spent all your time, forcing yourself to do something, and when finally you breakthrough its time to retreat.
Or perhaps its just you who decide you can’t bend anymore.
Knowing if you don’t compromise you will be snapped.
And yet you reach a stage when you know, all you can be is… You.